Current mood:	jubilant
Entry tags:	chosen family, wedding

Back to Earth
I've begun the process of poking my head out of the lovely shell R & I created this weekend. He gentled me last night with a spontaneous dinner at Machievelli, which gave rise to a warm, fuzzy realization -- we had our first date there 2 1/2 years ago, and were repeating the cycle with our first married date. The fact that we didn't plan it that way gave me a nice sense of continuity...

Afterwards, he dragged me to see "S.W.A.T.". To paraphrase a certain penguin: S.W.A.T. has brought the word 'bad' to new levels of badness. Bad acting. Bad effects. Bad everything. This bad film just oozed rottenness from every bad scene. Simply bad beyond all infinite dimensions of possible badness. Well, maybe not that bad, but lord it wasn't good.

Not that I was expecting fine art, but geez.

I want to thank everyone who was able to be with us on Thursday, and everyone who wasn't, but thought nice thinks at us. It was everything we wanted it to be, and the presence of so many of our loved ones made it so! (Especially sanguis_bella, who was the most wonderful officiant EVER.) A couple of people have expressed desire to see the ceremony. The part that folks seemed to enjoy most was the binding, which was based on one that I found online and then pretty much entirely re-wrote. Anyway, here 'tis, lurking hugely and in its entirety behind

Lauren and Russell’s Handfasting Ceremony. Thursday August 28th, 2003. Officiated by Rev. Erika Ginnis

Introductory Statement

By performing this marriage Lauren and Russell
make a public statement about their private thoughts and commitments to each other. Marriage means sharing your most intimate self with one other person you can trust and share with in times of need and joy. Marriage means living with your best friend, someone you can give love to and receive love from. Love is reality, affinity and communication. The most important of these is communication. Marriage is a
symbol of creating a new life in which the base is love.


Marriage symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives, yet this sharing must not diminish but enhance the individuality of each partner. A marriage that lasts is one which is continually developing and in which each person is individually developing, while growing in understanding of each other. Deep knowledge of another human being is not something that can be achieved in a short time, and real understanding of the other's feelings can develop fully only with years of intimacy.

This wonderful knowledge of another person grows out of caring for the other so much that one wants to understand as completely as possible what the other is feeling. Thus, it is possible to share, not only joy and successes, but also the burden of sorrows and failures. To be known in this way is a priceless thing, because such understanding and acceptance increase life's joy and make it easier to live with all of life's problems. But again, while marriage is the intimate sharing of two lives, it can yet enhance the differences and individuality of each partner. We must give ourselves in love, but we must not give ourselves away.


( Lauren and Russell read)
READING:
Lauren:
From Letters to a Young Poet
by Rainer Maria Rilke
For one human being to love another human being, that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation...
{Love} is a high inducement for the individual to ripen...to become world in himself for the sake of another person...human love...consists in this: that two solitudes protect and border and greet each other.

Russell:
...once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them
which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against a wide sky!


PRAYER FOR THE MARRIAGE SERVICE

May the blessings of the Spirit of the Universe be with
these two people as they enter into this union. Bless them with the creations they choose. Help them to bear their times of growth with compassion, and be joined all the more closely by it. Let them be aware of each others space. May their house, wherever it shall be, be for them the happiest place; may their temple the body, be nurtured with mutual love, honor and respect. Let their time together be one of growth, and joy, ever-learning from one another. And as they begin their wedded life today in prayer, so may they continue it, praying for and with each other.

So mote it be… and so it is!

WATER CEREMONY

Water is a symbol of life
The flow within our bodies.
By sharing this water two become united;
A part of the whole,
each separate, yet together in Love.

(each drink from the same cup)

READING:

Mike:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth,
The ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.
Whatever you can do, or dream, you can begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Begin it now.

W. H. Murray The Scottish Himalaya Expedition 1951 inspired by - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


COMMUNITY AFFIRMATION:

(Erika says to the guests:) Do you, as a community, agree to offer Russell and
Lauren support in their marriage, both as a couple and as individuals?
Will you remind them of the vows they will make today, and help them to
fulfill their promises to each other?

(Erika says to Lauren and Russell ) Surrounded by those who love you and assured of their support,
I ask you to step forward and state your intentions.


PROMISES

Do you Lauren promise to love Russell , to live with
him through this lifetime, and to build with him
a home that is a place of love, joy, and sharing, and
growing?

Lauren says "I do"

Do you Lauren promise to be with him in all of
his adversities and triumphs, to give him your
best counsel, and above all freedom to be Russell ?

Lauren says "I do"

repeat for promises for other partner.

Do you Russell promise to love Lauren , to live with
her through this lifetime, and to build with her
a home that is a place of love, joy, and sharing, and
growing?

Russell says "I do"

Do you Russell promise to be with her in all of
her adversities and triumphs, to give her your
best counsel, and above all freedom to be Lauren ?

Russell says "I do"


BINDING CEREMONY: (one attendant holds cords, one holds book to read from)

Erika:
The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul's growth.
Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?

(Russell & Lauren:
Yes, we seek to enter.)

Erika:
I bid you look into each other’s eyes.
Russell, will you cause her sorrow?
(I will.)

Is it your intent to do so?
(It is not.)

Lauren, will you cause him sorrow?
(I will.)

Is it your intent to do so?
(It is not.)

Will you share each other's sorrows and seek to ease them?

(R & L together:) We will.

And so the binding is made. Join your hands.
PURPLE *Bind first (purple) cord across the couple’s wrists*

Russell, will you share her laughter and joy?
(I will.)

Lauren, will you share his laughter and joy?
(I will.)

Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?

(Together:) We will.
And so the binding is made.
RED *Bind second (red) cord across the couple’s wrists*

Lauren, will you burden and trouble him?
(I will.)
Is it your intent to do so?
(It is not).

Russell, will you burden and trouble her?
(I will.)
Is that your intent?
(It is not.)

Will you share the burdens and troubles of each so that your spirits may go forth lightly together?

(Together:) We will.

And so the binding is made.
BLACK *Bind third (black) cord across the couple’s wrists*

Lauren, will you share his dreams and visions?
(I will.)

Russell, will you share her dreams and visions?
(I will.)

Will you dream and see together to create new realities and hopes?

(Together:) We will.
And so the binding is made.
WHITE *Bind fourth (white) cord across the couple’s wrists*

Russell, will you conflict with her in anger?
(I will.)

Is it your intent to do so?
(It is not.)

Lauren, will you conflict with him in anger?
(I will.)

Is it your intent to do so?
(It is not.)

Will you understand that anger as passion for your bond, and use that conflict to strengthen your ties?

(Together:) We will.
And so the binding is made.
GOLD *Bind fifth (gold) cord across the couple’s wrists*

Lauren, will you give him trust and honor in all of your dealings together?
(I will.)

Russell, will you give her trust and honor in all of your dealings together?
(I will.)

Will you seek always to be worthy of these gifts from each other?

(Together:) We will.
And so the binding is made.
SILVER *Bind sixth (silver) cord across the couple’s wrists*
*Tie all cords together*

Erika:
As your hands are bound together, now shall your lives and spirits be joined in a union of love, trust and mutual support.

Couple: (heart to thee, Soul to thee, Body to thee. Forever and always so mote it be.

Wedding party: (so mote it be)

Erika:
The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.

Lauren and Russell now kneel down (with the help of their assistants)

Erika:
“I would ask you all who are this couples community and family to take a moment to silently in your hearts send good wishes and bless Lauren and Russell as they take a silent moment in prayer for their union.”

Couple stands

Erika:

Above thee are the stars, below thee the stones. Remember always, like a star thy love should be constant, like the earth thy love should be firm. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience, for storms may come and go. Be free always in giving affection and warmth, for our Gods and our people will always be with thee.

***********
PRONOUNCING MARRIAGE

With the blessings of the Spirit of the Universe
I proclaim you Wed.

You may seal your union with a kiss!

*Once kiss is complete cords are removed and placed on altar*